Intellect as a Turn On

Hands up those of you who find intellect a turn on? SL abounds with potential opportunities for casual sex, and no matter how perverse is the image of grown adults seeking out sexual encounters where their avatars can bump pixels, aided by sometimes laughably dodgy animations, replete with contorting faces may be, it does have an immense appeal. Though for me, the existence of 'automatic' emoters, that describe, and express what the avatar, and presumably the human behind it is experiencing baffles me. Where exactly is the connection between the two individuals? Presumably it's 'sit back and watch' time, though I suppose those with a penchant for animated porn are well catered for... 'Triangular Ted and the Botoxed Bimbo Boobed Bella Get It On'... yeah, wow.

I've nothing against any of the above, far from it, but for me, it's the personal connection that is the attraction, the ability to create in the mind of a partner the scenario, the sensations, (hopefully) and the feelings of being close, which in my view can be far better achieved through words alone; the visual is actually a distraction, though it can be a a cause of some mirth. The facial expressions of the animations are a godsend for the makers of Pixel Porn, both the still and the machinima variety.

Let's talk stereotypes for a moment. It's usually males that are 'turned on' by the purely visual, men supposedly being more receptive to visual stimulation than the emotional, which is usually the case with women. Women, by and large seek out more than just a simple fuck. Even if it's the 'one night stand' scenario, a woman usually wants some intellectual engagement, to be mentally and emotionally aroused, so foreplay is usually fairly extended, even by the standards of the compressed temporal environment of SL. 'Hi... wanna fuck' isn't completely unheard of coming from the mouths of female avis, usually suspected of being males in RL, though I'm sure that there are some genuine female adherents to this approach, (and one wonders how successful they are SL or RL?) though judging from the number of complaints about this opening gambit, it's not regarded as a huge turn on by the majority, and even most mature men will have tumbled to the realisation that it's perhaps not the best strategy if you want to get laid.

I did a little research, backed up by my own experiences in SL and RL, so this isn't really scientific. Women prefer emotional closeness, which then leads to physical intimacy, though often just the physical and emotional and intellectual closeness is just as valued as sex itself, sex is a bonus, not the end game. Kissing, and cuddling, and just chatting are often the highest on the list when I talk to my friends, with sex coming pretty low down on the list of priorities, it's a valued option, if it feels right.

I like sex, but strangely, perhaps, it's not often something I seek out. If I'm in a bad emotional state, as recently I was, the purely physical can deal wonderfully with the sense of pent up frustrations, it provides that tremendous sense of relief. But that is the exception. I'm more often seeking out friends, and sex is far from my thoughts. However, once I start to get to know someone, I soon realise if I wish to take it further, and let it be known that I'd like to take it further, but the relationship is primarily a friendship based on intellect and emotional closeness, with sex being that something special that happens when the mood is right. But the main attraction to me both in my being attracted to someone in the first place, and in the sustaining of relationships is the intellectual. A former partner described it well as 'making love to her mind', which to me is the best way ever of making love... even if it progresses to the physical, it's the intellectual that's the turn on.